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  • Writer's pictureKate Roberts

Reclaiming Your Sense Of Self After Relational Trauma

Learning to reconnect with ourselves is key in healing relational trauma.

When the people that are supposed to love and protect us invalidate us growing up, we internalise the belief that we are unworthy of love and that our feelings are invalid or wrong. We don't develop a real sense of who we are, what we want and how we feel and end up disconnected from ourselves, living an inauthentic and unfulfilling life.

Here are some things that helped me to reconnect with my authentic self:

Spending time alone

Maybe you can go for a walk, meditate, journal, sit in silence. Whatever you choose, daily alone time will help you to realign with your true nature and grow confidence in trusting your own feelings and judgement.


Check in with yourself regularly throughout the day. Observe what's happening in your inner world. Notice what sensations you feel. What emotions are present? By tuning into your inner voice you can learn to respond in a way that's true to you, instead of reacting habitually, for example saying no to a request that actually doesn't make you happy, rather than just saying yes out of obligation.

Feeling & Processing

With self compassion, allowing yourself to acknowledge what happened to you, and allowing the discomfort to be present

without trying to distract yourself. Breathe through it and stop if it's too overwhelming, but allowing ourselves to gently process our feelings releases their grip on us.


Connecting with your internal world in a relaxed, safe and calm state while also being guided into change of those long standing internal beliefs and thought patterns.

Creating boundaries

It's empowering to implement what you've learnt about your own wants and needs. Create boundaries to protect your own energy and love yourself enough you prioritise yourself. By prioritising yourself you teach yourself that you are worth showing up for.

Reclaiming your sense of self and being authentically you is not only key in healing, but also in creating a fulfilling life. Start reconnecting with yourself today.

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